Pig Roast in Bushwick or how Taylor from Brooklyn Kitchen saved my Life by Showing me how to Run from Danger

"Hey! Is that FIRE coming out of that gas tank?"

Yes. Yes, it was fire coming out of that gas tank (to be clear, the gas was for the BBQ that they were roasting corn on. I would never roast a pig on gas.)

Anyway, Sunday was filled with so many memories: heat exhaustion, a 200 lb. pig engulfed in flames by a massive grease fire, cutting up said pig once finally cooked (we got started an hour late because there was no lighter fluid) while being watched through the windows of the 3rd Ward like I was in an operating theater and then, of course the two and a half hour scramble to fill enough tacos for the pig maddened crowd.

The Death Experience? Right. Sorry.

Anyway. After I spotted the flaming gas canister and Josh (the guy manning the grill) turned off burners, I doused the flame with a bottle water and pulled the hissing tank away from the underside of the grill. Sure there's a huge pig roasting fire only twelve feet away. Sure the hissing coming from the canister is the sound of compressed propane leaking out through a defective valve. Me worry (or have multiple flashes of dying in a ball of fire)? Nope. I just pulled the tank out and as soon as it hit the concrete the valve totally blew out sending the tank spinning violently on the ground powered by a huge jet of compressed gas.

What do I do? I froze, thinking "this is how I die, like a stupid person. My only hope is that we make the cover of the Post".

Then I caught sight of Talyor from Brooklyn Kitchen sprinting like Ben Johnson towards the gate to the street. Yes. That's it. Run like there's about to be a horrible fire in a narrow side yard! And run I did. So hard and so fast that I didn't even realize until about a minute after the danger had passed that I was still holding my bottle of tequila.