Yes, a Chili Recipe

I figure that I have been pontificating enough about making chili that I'm required at this point to actually come correct and put forth a recipe for it so that I can be further judged. Like I said, it's not really nuero-science. It's just dried chilies, spices onions garlic corn meal and good ground meat.

Anyway, lets start with the most important part which is the chilies. For a 3 gallon batch you'll need a small plastic grocery bag made up mostly of guajillo (juajillo) chiles and a fist full of puja (puya) chilies. New Mexicos are OK and anchos, chipotles and mulatos are to be avoided as they make a dark and bitter flavor that tastes like chewing on spicy aspirin. The more heat you want the more puya you need but keep them separate for the time being.

Now take your chilies and pull off the stem and shake out the seeds. If your anal and also want a milder chili you can also remove the white veins too. Make sure to get all the seeds as they'll ruin the whole deal if you get one in your teeth. Once you have your deseeded chilies you want to boil water equivalent to the volume of chilies and the turn off the heat. Make sure that the pot has a lid or when you add the chilies you'll pepper-spray your apartment with the spicy steam. Now add the chilies, punch them down and put on the lid. Basically you want to wait until the pot has cooled to the point where you can touch the sides with your hand (45 minutes or so) and then puree the whole shiterie with an immersion blender until it's smooth. This might be a good time to run the paste through a china cap to get the big chunks out but if you're not trying to impress anyone with your flawless French Laundry chef skills skip it.

Another alternative if a) if it's late Summer and b) you're lucky enough to have a farmer that raises flavorful, ripe red peppers you can fire roast the skins off them, de-seed them and make a puree of fresh chilies, though you might need to add dried ones to add some bottom end.

Anyway, next you want to brown your meat. I like ground short rib, brisket and some pork scrap but really it doesn't matter that much. Ideally I would also throw in a small amount of lamb to give it some gamey punch, just don't over do it or it'll start tasting like kibbe. I like add a little salt, pepper and toasted, freshly ground cumin at this point. Again, don't over do it you just want to make the meat suck in some flavor but not make it bitter and over spiced. Brown until, well, brown.

For some reason I like to saute the ton of diced onions and garlic separately, though I don't think it matters that much. If you're going for that perfection fetish shit you could immersion blender this stuff after it's cooked and then add it to the meat.

Now add your chili paste and more cumin and maybe more black pepper. Taste it you fool! It should be tasting nice but raw and not quite integrated. After it simmers for a while taste it again and correct the seasoning. Usually I find that it either needs more garlic, heat (add powdered cayenne), cumin or black pepper and salt.

You're chili should have simmered a good while now. Time to add hominy. I like white hominy but hey it's YOUR chili. You want the water in the can and everything unless the water tastes like a can. At this point your should gradually add corn meal a few tablespoons at a time. Let it settle in for ten minutes and then reevaluate and add more if needed. You're shooting for Hormel consistency here no further explanation needed. Too thick? Add beer or chili water or stock. Too fatty? Add some white wine vinegar or cider vinegar.

Done. That wasn't hard was it?